To BE Happy You Need to BE SAD

UNFOLDING YOUR INNER PEACE TO SECURE HAPPINESS

As human beings, our instinct is to look for and create happiness. To get there, we are constantly looking at ways of making this happen. At times we do not know where to look and how to create and make it happen. We are caught up with a whirlpool of disappointments, tears, disillusionments, pain and suffering, which are inevitable. As human beings, we have the inner potential and strength to find and create our own happiness.  We are also very capable of creating our own unhappiness.

Essentially, we have the ability and capacity to create happiness from within and not look for it on the outside. It all depends on the way we choose to: Think, Feel, Act with peace, courage, balance, focus and confidence. For an experience, there must be always a cause or source and effect or outcome. There must be an experiencer (Me) the experienced (the situation) and the experiencing which is being in the present moment. Now to experience happiness, there must be cause. If am happy, which is my cause or source then I will continue to be happy. However, if the cause or source is one of sadness, then there will be this innate drive to reintroduce or introduce happiness. "You are what you choose to become: Either to be unhappy or happy”.

How do we make those choices and which bring us closer to our inner peace, potential and strength?

Brian:
Brian who like every other day, leaves for work at around 7.30am. Says goodbye to his wife and two kids, with warmth and love. Dashes to the train station, with a level of certainty and predictability that his train is going to be delayed. He was pleasantly surprised when it arrived on time. Looking forward to another day at work. Which he enjoys.

Brian works for a logistics company, as the manager accountable for accounts receivable and payable.  He has been in the company for 10 years and celebrated his 45th birthday a week ago. An unscheduled town hall meeting, another fancy word for staff meeting was called for 3pm that day. The CEO starts the conversation by saying how the people in the company, have contributed to the success of the business. However, it is a competitive market for logistics, and for the last financial year, the company posted another massive financial loss. In fact, for the last 3 years. To stay in business, a cost management strategy should be implemented immediately. Salaries is a major cost item. So he must let go with reluctance about 300 staff. Brian is one of them. Oh, yes, a decent redundancy package will be offered. Rubbish says Brian!

Now Brian, was shocked and distressed. How is he going to survive and take care of the family?  Feelings of Fear, Anger and Disappointment. He is only valued as a cost or liability and not valued as dedicated employee. Where and how is he going to find work? How is he going to be perceived, as a failure? He is filled with sorrow and feels helpless.

What can Brian do immediately to reclaim that inner peace?
Some of the options that are available to him that he is in control of:

• Calling his well-wisher, a person who cares and supports him. The same person who will challenge his thinking with love and compassion. He can share how he is feeling.
• Acknowledge that it is ok to feel unhappy. No need for immediate solutions.
• Be aware and mindful of what are the negative feelings that are rising.
• Don’t push these feelings away. Consider how he can regulate them.
• Recognise he needs the time and space, to calm the mind.
• Scream silently within, his anger and disappointment.
• Shout out silently a strength he values which is going to get him through the difficult situation.

Some thought prompters to reflect, ponder and question...
Now the options that are available for Brian to move from a place of sadness to happiness, are not exhaustive in any shape or form. What is important to consider and be aware of are the some of the following thought prompters:

• To be happy you need to first be sad.
• What are these experiences that are causing these feelings of sadness?
• It is ok to be sad, but not be consumed by it.
• The happiness I am looking for is it going to be sustainable?
• Defining what is peace. Is it tangible or intangible? Do you place an objective or subjective value?
• Do you have the personality and the character to be happy?
• Learning to be the witness of your thoughts.
• Staying independent to all your emotions, actions and thoughts.
• BEING aware and mindful, of how one is feeling and thinking.
• BEING silent with hope and strength and not BE silent with a sense of overwhelming sadness.
  

Written by Murali Neelamegam